Fun Facts about Chuck Norris
Saw this on a website...a few fun facts about Chuck Norris:
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
4. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
5. Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.
6. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
7. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
8. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
9. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
10. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
11. One day Chuck Norris looked in the mirror and said "No one outstares Chuck!" He is still there to this day.
12. Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
13. Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
14. Chuck Norris only masterbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Big thanks to the good folks at www.4q.cc/chuck/index.php?topthirty